The Need to Smile

- You can close the windows and darken your room, and you can open the windows and let light in. It is a matter of choice. Your mind is your room. Do you darken it or do you fill it with light? -

Walking in the street at around 6 in the morning, you get to observe people from all walks of life. You see the street vendors getting ready to have an early start; the jollyjeepers bustling around their mini food outlets, cooking the usual fare of fried sunny side up eggs (it looks like the plastic eggs you see on children’s playthings) which they seem to be reheating every hour till all gets sold. You also meet the street sweeper in their usual red pants and yellow t-shirts with long sleeves to protect them from the heat of the sun. All of them busy with their own jobs, but some still preoccupied with their personal lives as we pass by them.

Good Morning Ma’am! They manage to greet you…

Now what would your usual reaction be? If you ask me..I BOTHER to SMILE BACK and nod to acknowledge..

What’s the need to do that? I barely know them, they are not even a part of my life and neither are they a part of whatever is going on with me as of that moment. But then, come to think of it, if YOU bothered to say hi to a passersby for whatever reason on earth and the other person does not even acknowledge or worse – they scowl back, how would you feel?

Each one of us has a moral responsibility towards the people around us.. A man passing by on his way to a job interview early in the morning may be so excited that he greets those around him with a hi and say good morning. Whatever your response to him will have a direct impact to how he will fare for the day. Scowl on him and subconsciously it can affect him by having a heavy feeling that he is at the wrong place at the wrong time.

What will you loose to greet back? Are you going to be less human if you smile and wish that person a good morning?

2-5 seconds? A few facial muscles getting stretched for the 3 second smile? A vein or two from giving a nodding gesture? Basically nothing.

Now what do you get from smiling? A general feeling of warmth and kindness? A chance to brighten up some other person’s life? Make it a habit and observe. No matter what things happen to you during the day, you will observe that with smiling, the day tends to be a little bit lighter.

You may be having a bad hair day but you don’t want to wish the same for others do you?   Keep on smiling

Beauty in the Eyes of a Child

As I am sitting here watching news, I don’t know but for whatever reason I suddenly missed Mom and Dad. Perhaps it’s because of the rain that I can hear from the outside. Rain can make me melancholy at times. That’s what me and my siblings call ‘the EMO- mode’.

I don’t know why I am sharing this story as it’s not mothers’ or fathers’ day yet I guess I’m on the “emo-mode” right now.

During the months of May and June, we celebrate Mother’s and Father’s Day respectively. Days that no matter how busy and in what location we are, we should always remember.

This is one thing that I firmly believe in – Honouring our self is important when we want to honour our parents.

I would like to share a very nice story. I know this had made an impact in how I see things around me. Though I don’t remember the exact version; whether I have seen this in a play somewhere or if I’ve read this as a story when I was younger, I’ll just share my own version, on a first person basis as if I was there…

It was a warm summer day, sitting at the park and enjoying a cone of ice cream, there was a child sitting beside me.  She looked like a miniature Barbie doll. All dressed and dolled up with frills, complete with ribbons in her curly hair. She looked at me with awe at perhaps how I managed to eat it without spills on my crisp white linen dress. “Hey little girl, what’s your name?” She replied in a small voice, “Lejhla” (with a giggle). “I think you are about three, right?” I only got a fast nod as an answer. “Who are you with, Mommy?” She just managed a “Yup” while her eyes drool on my ice cream cone. “Mmmm?”

To gather the bits and pieces that I learned from this cute and cuddly Lejhla, she said she was with her mom whose name is Wonder Woman who looked exactly like Britney Spears. Her mom just left her at the bench to buy some food for her.

Now this small bundle of joy was completely taking over my ice cream.  “Mommy nice, pretty, pretty , umm goodest?” I said, “Ah, you mean Mama is the best, ha ha”.  While I was having my time and enjoying talking to this little girl, and she in return was enjoying the cone I held awhile ago, along came a very fat black lady, walking towards our bench. She looked at Lejhla and waved a hand. Well, maybe she’s their neighbour, I thought.

The lady suddenly picked up and cradled Lejhla in her big fat dangling arms, Oh! Maybe she is the house help, but what if not, I have to make sure the child is safe while her mom is away! So I stood up and said, “Excuse me Ma’am but we are waiting for her mom, kindly put her down please.” Now Lejhla seems fascinated with the “house help”, who suddenly said, “Oh thank you for looking after my daughter, I got delayed” she said. Then she took my hand and shook it.

I was still looking perplexed as she said her name was Eunika, and yes she was Lejhla’s mom. I was thinking oh no no, this must be some ploy, maybe a kidnapper or what. And it can’t be possible! The child was like an adorable cherub but..but..she was black and pardon me but she looked like she had pock marks all over her face as big as beans!

Not surprised by the way I stared, she asked me to sit down and proceeded to tell me the story, as if it has been etched on the palm of her hands. She was not surprised with my reaction, she expected it, well indeed!  She said she’s used to it, she gets the stare all the time.

It appears that Lejhla’s father was European who pretended to fall in love with her and after getting the business for which he originally came for in her native Samoa, he packed bag and left, right about the time that she got pregnant. No pleas from her could make him come back, she asked for his help and all she got was ridicule, at how dumb and stupid she was to think that he will stay with her, at how ugly she was, and so forth and so on.

She then raised Lejhla on her own, with help of close family members.  Eunika works in the dress making factory across the town, a difficult job but an honest means of raising this angel.

Oh how I felt suddenly so stupid, I felt like a moron! Now I understand what Lejhla sees in her that I don’t.

The promise of a bright future coupled with so much love and care.  When they left, after having offered to buy her and Eunika some more ice cream, I stared after her and saw her differently.

What I saw was a woman of all means, a woman who struggled and survived, and one loving mother Lejhla can surely count and depend on, no matter what.

When things happen to us, all we see is the bleak future and all the sad things that we are experiencing. Let’s try to look at things around us, with the eyes of a child, full of expectation, hope and optimism. Some things are not always what it appears to be.

-END-

The Avaya Humanoid Prototype

Have you ever worked in a call center or a contact center? I used to say that I liked working there, it’s a place full of diversity, people from different background, race, color and orientation. Everybody’s welcome. Before people realized it, agents were like 5 a dime. The supply was endless. Quality no longer mattered**. It was frustrating. Yet, it’s an animated life I must say.

**(THIS IS NOT FOR ALL CENTERS, THERE ARE STILL SOME WHO VALUE OUTPUT AND QUALITY)

Day 1 AM

Tut..tutu..tut.tut

Girl: Hi, Customer Care, how can I help you?

Man: Are you in Australia?

Girl: No but we do share the same systems as our Australian colleagues. How can I help you?

Man: Can you transfer me to someone who can speak English?

Girl: John we are speaking in English. Let me try to help you.

Man: You Asian idiots have mucked up my bill again! You can’t do anything right!…

Bleep, bleep, bleep….

Tut..tutu..tut.tut

Girl: Hi, Customer Care, how can I help you?

Day 1 PM

Day has ended, I am going home soon. 5 minutes more.

One of the girls who belong to my team looked hesitant. She seemed shy to ask. I went to her and asked what happened. (She’s new. I was new once. I know how it feels.)  I told her to give me a couple of minutes to wrap up then I will be with her.

We finished after 15minutes, she took the call, and I coached her and pointed to details so she can confidently explain what her customer did not understand. OTY (Overtime Thank You)  again but its ok, I helped her and that’s what matters.

Day 2 AM

Girl: …  yes that’s right, you have used your services beyond limit and..

(Background Noise: Rara rarara… : Rara rarara…VOC 92%!) One of the Team Leaders (Let’s call her TL Gaga)  marched from behind with matching clapping of the hands..

Girl: Sorry about that John but it’s somebody’s birthday today hence the loud noise, my apologies. (Trying to cover up for the senseless, outlandish noise nearby) As I was saying, the usage you made &$*^

(Background Noise: TL Gaga sauntered by again..Guys AVAIL AVAIL, maintain your AHT!)

Bleep, bleep, bleep….

Girl: John are you there? Hello John?

Bleep, bleep, bleep….

Day 2 PM

I received a very low survey from a customer who felt I did not research enough about a product that was soon to be launched. All I know is that the launching will be soon, common to pre-launches, utmost hush hush is being done so there was no way for me to find out. I advised that customer to expect new updates very soon. I was just following instructions. But, he was not happy with what I provided him.

I wanted to make sure it won’t happen again. Never, not to me and certainly not to the others as well.

5:30 PM LOG OUT! End of my paid day.

Whew! At least I can now research in peace and check out what this new product is all about. If those whom I thought should provide us with details wont, then I will make sure I’m well equipped with information. The others on my team will be happy to get more information about  this too.

 6:20PM  Done, e-mailed to the others for their reference too.

Day 3

Tut..tutu..tut.tut

Sup Call.

TL Charming: Hi, how can I help you?

Woman with a falsetto voice: Yeah hi, I’m not very happy you guys disconnected my service! I never used the internet and can you just explain to me why I’m using Wi-Fi and my bill is a thousand dollars? You are ripping me off! How do you charge us for the usage? You have to prove that I used that or I’ll take you to court.

TL Charming: (Suddenly wanted to drop dead, she was trying to figure out if she had a lobotomy as she can’t seem to find which part of her brain contained the info on how to explain charges.)

Day 4

The scorching heat is too much. There goes the purple train. I should have been in it but that darned guard hasn’t opened the gates yet. Anyway I can see the Lime green train, looking like some giant bug approaching.

Scores of men and women in different sizes and smells attempted to get in. I was one of the fortunate ones who were able to go in and squeeze myself at the back of a fat lady while I attempted to balance my shoulder bag on my right arm and at the same time tried to hang on the railings with my left. Fat lady staggered and I thought I lost my foot when she accidentally stepped on me. Ouch! ($%#^#ing a…hole, will you kindly watch where you are stepping? ) I wanted to say but held my temper. Soon, I’ll be in the office and will be sitting in the air-conditioned room with my team. We’ll get the thread going and before we know it, the day is over. Yes, I was looking forward to that. Ok, smile, smile and calm down, be patient.

Ayala, Paseo, those who want to get down please hurry. I need not even make an effort to move as the throng of people going out carried me like a fish in the wave.

Finally, I’m here, wait for the elevator, don’t forget to wear the ID, get my purse and stuff, oh and don’t forget to spray a blast of White Citrus cologne to liven up the day and feel fresh, at least. Ready?

Tut..tutu..tut.tut

Girl: Hi, Customer Care, how can I help you?

Girl: Hey dude, help me out, my screen! All the letters suddenly reduced to less than a point of centimetre in height. I can only see dots!

Dude: Don’t worry let me just finish this, there.

Girl: Thanks man.

Then before we knew it, its almost time for lunch. But hey, what’s happening? Suddenly I can feel a twitch near the middle of my left temple. No, no, it should be fine, lunch is almost there and I can rest. Flashing white lights when I closed my eyes, white pain, and red heat. Throbbing, pulsating. The nerve suddenly had a life of its own. It’s ok, I should be fine, I’m fine.

5 minutes to go, last call. Tut..tutu..tut.tut. Then it was done.

The pain was too much. Bended over and eyes watery, I am nearly disoriented from the pain. The dude ran to get some pain reliever, thanks God at least somebody looked after me.

His girl got me something to drink. Took med and water. I should be fine, thanks. I’ll be okay. You guys take your lunch and enjoy.

Maybe I should go to the clinic and take some rest. Its ok I can grab something to eat once this subsides. I’ll manage. Whoa! The clinic was standing room only. Nurse Friendly was checking on a patient who went came in before me. Dr. Blondie was sitting on the bad scanning what seems to be a magazine or a brochure. Another nurse was seated on top of the bed with her.

I took the seat near the door. Doctor asked me what’s wrong; I said I’m having a very bad head ache. She asked again, have you eaten? If not you can’t take medicine. I told her I haven’t eaten yet but I took the medicine as I can’t control the pain anymore. She said oh ok, and went back to reading while chatting with the two nurses.

I can feel my eyes watering, the pain is magnifying. I took refuge from the lady’s rest room. In here I can have some peace. I won’t mind sitting on top of the bowl. I can manage the pain better inside this cubicle. Now I can’t stop crying from too much pain, but then taking comfort from the knowledge and experience that several minutes after taking the med, pain will subside. Crying and releasing some tension helps too.

Apparently one colleague didn’t know that I was the one occupying the locked cubicle, she thought that something has drastically happened to the person inside. Pain was controllable now. I can feel it’s going to be over in a while. Relax, breathe, breathe again and control yourself.

Shit, time to log in. I approached TL Middy and advised her of the issue, she was very sympathetic, I was surprised. Perhaps with my nose as red as Rudolph, and eyes swollen as if I had cried pools of tears, she may have guessed that I wasn’t feeling well. She asked me if I wanted to go back to the clinic and I reported to her what I have experienced and witnessed in the clinic. She told me to update her.

Knock knock. I went in and the Three Stooges were still busy in their own worlds. As ever, I knew I could at least rely to Nurse Friendly to look after me. She got me some Iced Compress and told me to lie down. It was subsiding.

Somebody was shaking me. Apparently due to severe pain I have fallen asleep. Another nurse told me to get up and get back to the floor as the time is up. Work force will question them as she claimed. So even if I was nearly dying from pain, I still have to get worried about “THE WORKFORCE”. I was almost hysterical when she said – you can bring the ice bag and put it on top of your head. She then said, you’ve got a headset right? She seems to be insinuating to put the ice bag under the headset and on top of my head!

I was staring at her in disbelief. While taking calls, my right hand on the keyboard, headset on top of my hand, I was to utilize my left hand by holding the ice bag near my left temple, all at the same time. What a very nice suggestion to relieve my pain.

TLMiddy said to take some more time if I was not yet ok. Then my Avaya rang, I told TL Gia that it will take me some more time and then I’ll take calls after. I knew I’ll be in trouble if I dare take more calls now as looking at the screen will certainly trigger another bout of severe pain. I asked if there was anything else I could do for the remainder of the day in lieu of taking calls, nada.

One, two, three calls, TLGia kindly checked me and told me that if pain starts again, then I should take a break and look for her. Wow, that seldom happens unless it was my own sup. I was thankful. They seemed to understand what was going on.

Twelve, thirteen, 4 minutes before the last break, it started to pulsate and get alive, OMG watch over me. I was now getting worried what if the pain attacks while I am alone going home? I do not want to have a repeat incident when I cried like a child inside McDonalds due to the sudden pain. I had to call friends nearby to get me. No, I don’t want that.

Break. Rest. Auto IN. I really can’t do it. Do they think we’re automated? Able to withstand illness and pain?

I was already embarrassed to ask for more time off as people may think I was loitering. But then, I knew I can’t stand looking at the computer. My eyes are nearly watering with tears again. So, I again approached TL Pleasant and she said take more rest. 20mins., 30mins., … TL Fairest Among them All approached me to advise I need to go to the clinic once more and see what they will say. Nurse Friendly again gave me some meds and told me to rest for 15mins more.

Workforce only allows the 15mins. How the hell did they establish a timeframe for getting well?

I went back to TL Fairest Among them All, he was talking to a shrieking woman on the other line (it was the OM),

I said, boss, Nurse Friendly gave me med and told to rest 15mins.

He told the shrieking woman on the other end about the 15 minutes, they were on speaker phone.

My eyes saw red when the shriek voice shrieked – 15mins??!! She has been on rest for more than blah blah blah….

I left them and logged back in immediately and took calls. Even knowing that this can result to probably severe headaches, I took payments barely seeing what I was typing. I checked what’s wrong with the customer’s bills barely seeing the numbers.

I know that some of the sups assisted me. I was thankful for that. But they belong to an organization which I thought I was a part of. Peers and my sup know me. I am never selfish with my time – paid or not paid I can be counted on. I was never selfish with any knowledge or skills that I may have – team mates or not, I am there.

I thought I belong to a place where I get treated as a person, valued as a person, and not as a mere head count.

I don’t want to go back. The place has burned me. If I go back, that will be to say goodbye.

I’ve had enough. I am human. I breathe. I live. I want to remain so. Staying there will either kill me or transform me to something like them. Inhuman.

Life – a metaphor on it’s own

Why do we smile when we don’t feel like it? Why do we say yes when it’s no you wanted to say? Why do people we love hurt us the most? Why do people we care for can just take us for granted? Why do we say it’s ok when it never was?

With all my whys unanswered, I can barely fathom what the real meaning of life is. Should it be dependent to who is answering the question? Perhaps I get a logical answer but is it the true meaning of what I look for?

Existence, being, energy, all of this describes life, but then life is also death isn’t it? Life will never have an exact meaning. It is a cycle where one gets to experience birth, growth, learning, tribulations, yearning, disappointment, happiness, sadness, loss and death. It’s a phase where every being will always have to ponder on as nobody knows what life brings. We may all get the images of what we want to happen but nobody can really foretell what happens next.

One can walk in an empty street, find a wallet full of money, will you pick it up and take it? Is it what you call luck or misfortune to another soul? A woman passing by listening to love songs on her iPod suddenly meets a nice man who said hi. Is it now destiny or purely coincidence? There are still countries that follow arranged marriages as culture dictates. Is it obedience and respect that makes one follow or is it fear and uncertainty compelling one to not question it?

It is a strange place where we all exist. Something considered as a norm in another society can be considered taboo in one. How do we manage to co-exist? Maybe not for all but a lot of different races, nations have managed to coexist since time immemorial. We all deal with our issues and we do it in a manner suitable and acceptable to our society.

But is it the right way to live life? Is whatever acceptable to others and society the reason why we go on? What is it really that will make us happy and content?

 

Nuptials or is it Nup-Tie-Alls?

Nuptials : Latin word ‘nuptialis’ pertaining to marriage.

It is incredulous to know that in 2011, the average amount spent on a wedding ceremony in the US is $25,000USD. Wow! That is already about Php 1,000,000 Million pesos and it can already buy 3 modest low cost 2 bedroom bungalow in the Philippines. Well I know that’s beside the topic but then again people are spending so much on weddings that I wonder what happens after the wedding? Is it the ‘nup-tie-alls’ situation now? You get tied up with a lot of obligations to pay for the wedding of your dreams if you have spent this much. After a lavish wedding ceremony, it follows suit that people expect you to live a lavish lifestyle. It must be your dream wedding I agree but remember that you actually pay for it in reality.

We see fairy tale weddings happening here and there, weddings that reflect the splendid image of a past bygone era, so lavish that we think there is no more tomorrow. It starts from wearing a wedding gown of pure French lace with more than 4 ft of train, or having the celebration at an island paradise resort with 300 guests, and it can also be a three day wedding celebration. I am not talking about royalty here, some of them are like normal regular 8-5 working yuppies like you and me. In some places, they even have loans to cover wedding cost. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not making fun of people, culture and traditions, this is just an honest observation.

There is totally nothing wrong with getting yourself your dream wedding but hey, let’s be realistic. Your wedding day is supposed to be the start of your lives as husband and wife and not as the principal borrower and a co-maker of a loan!

To start right, you need to think first of the main objective why you are going to have these union. Who do you need to be there? Do you need the whole city to witness your celebration and feed thousands or let’s say hundreds of unknown guests? Or do you want to celebrate this joyous event with special friends and love ones? Think of the venue, your garden or a friend’s nice place can also be utilized for the venue. Think of all the things that you can get at a reasonable cost or best if for free when you are planning. Yes culture, religion and family will need to be considered but bear in mind, you are starting your lives, you are going to marry the person of your dreams and would like to start everything right. Planning is the key, don’t forget constant communication with the parties involved and keep your foot on the ground and everything should work fine. Best of luck!

I, Me and Mine

 

I want to be selfish even for a while; I bet that would be fun,

To just think about me, lie in the sand and bask under the sun

To not think of others’ woes and just have my own time as one may be,

To not think of how I can make it easier for others but to just look after me..

 

I want time where I can just close my eyes and be blank,

To not frown at times when I can’t be very frank,

I want time where I don’t want to worry how I can make people smile..

Yes, these are things I think of once in a while…

                       

I want time to look forward on things and stuff that makes me smile,

That makes eyes so bright you can see from a mile,

When smiling and laughing can almost bring tears as big as a dime

To look forward on who for a change would think how to make it last for some time…

I should be selfish..even for a short while…

The Challenge of Meeting New People, Are You Up To It?

Meeting new people can be very easy for some, and for others it can be scary. Others find it easy to meet and be friends with new acquaintances because they are open to the idea of knowing somebody new and along with it sharing information and details about their own lives. There are reasons why we have to meet new people. You go into a new school and you meet new classmates and friends, you also get to meet others when you are into business, transferring to another village, visiting the doctor’s office, all of these and many others are occasions where you are going to meet a new person.

What is the best way to handle jitters on instances like this? First, you need to be calm and open minded. Bear in mind that you are going to meet somebody new and it is important to maintain a positive outlook. Check your appearance, it helps a lot to maintain a good smile if the occasion calls for it. Respond accordingly to questions and ask intelligent questions to get to know the other person better. Remember not to reveal too much of yourself. There will be plenty of time to get to know each other better but the first day of meeting does not necessarily mean that you have to divulge all the itsy bitsy details of your life.

On meeting new people, you must also observe the other person’s body language and tone of voice. It plays an important part in assessing the other’s reaction towards you. For example, if you are meeting a new customer and the person just keeps on nodding with arms folded across his chest that means that you need to try to communicate more. The person’s body language with folded arms indicates resistance and reservation. If you are talking to a new acquaintance and it started out with a nice conversation and suddenly your new friend keeps quiet, please be mindful and ask if there was something that you might have said to offend the other person.

If you are meeting somebody not by accident but let’s say a scheduled meeting, try to find out more about the person so that you have the upper hand and can control the conversation. It pays to be wise, patient, and sincere and be generally nice. Remember that first impression usually makes an impact and it doesn’t hurt to give a good impression to anybody whom you meet.